Estranged, I Lost My Way Home

I am not estranged from my family but I don't make it a habit to go back to my hometown regularly. The last time I went home was April of this year and the closest date before that was June of last year. Literally, I only went to see my loved ones once a year. Am I really a bad son?

I recently just lost my job in a brutal way (this happened to me also 6 months ago; the deep cut is still fresh) but there is no way that I'm coming home. Just one SMS message and a short call to my family can already ease my pain. And I did that. No more drama. There are so many jobs out there, only if I choose not to be picky.

Don't think though that I am a thousand miles  away from home. It's just that, I don't like being in the countryside. Living there could be miserable for me. The television has only 2 channels there. Our local government implemented a scheduled power blackout 8 hours a day and I always got to miss my favorite TV show. In addition, I was a bit lucky to have a GSM and GPRS signal on the Internet, but hell, I can't stream videos, download movies, or make a Skype call. The distant church would also increase my likelihood of practicing a  now-I-can-be-seen and now-I-don't habit on a Sunday mass.

When it rains, it pours. But in the country side, it's a different thing. When it rains, the road gets muddy. I just simply hate it. And who would like to share my very large bath area? You just don't know how to feel taking a bath with a water buffalo wiggling a tail in a swamp nearby, or with the whole village watching your naked glory (Oh, this had worsen my exhibitionist side). The scarce transportation and distant travel would also had me wish I could apparate just like the Non-muggles do in Harry Potter movies.

Oh, my mother loves me so much, I swear, but every time, I went home, after seeing me in almost a year, she would utter, "Noy, ngaa nag-uli ikaw haw? Malutak, giya nga daan pay". I just smiled every time I hear that line. Mother really knows what's best for me.

I remember, when I came home last summer, I lost my way home, LITERALLY! After almost a year of being away from home, I was surprised to see the detours and some fences in the middle of the plains and rice fields. The bushes and grasses were even taller with some vines blocking my way. I wondered I might be in Terrabithia or Narnia. It took me a while before I could get to find a way home. When I got home, no one's around. I burst into tears. Later I found out that they all went to see a basketball tournament and a fancy circus show in the village center. And so I remained composed.

With these, I had big realizations in life. Things are really different now, and so I am. It seemed like yesterday when I felt the joy of living my young life in the countryside. Nothing could be happier than the memories of my childhood but I ought to have a different life now. I am a grown-up man, I now have different priorities and bigger dreams. But no matter where the road will lead me, I should always come home. I must come home.

My life is really a melodrama and I can't help it. When should I be coming home again?